Pause. Breathe. LOVE.

Today was a nice Re-Minder of the difference between Reacting versus Responding.

Although these two approaches to external circumstances and others' words and behaviors create outcomes, neither has the same effect.

Reacting is laced and fueled by emotion. This doesn't mean it's wrong. On the contrary, it means we are looking at the scenario from ONE LIMITED perspective. Again, which isn't bad because it stems from OUR "truth." This isn't right or wrong. It just IS.

This is where reacting gets a bit sticky.

Any time we allow our emotions to take over our communication with others we disagree with, we end up spiraling into what I call "micro wars" with others.

Letting our emotions REACT and lead the exchange doesn't allow the space for another to have a different viewpoint. All we want is to unleash our triggered pain onto the other, fully believing we are "right" in doing so. And we lash out our fear, anger, and frustration without regard to creating understanding, compassion, and unity.

Meaning we would rather be "right, heard, and validated" than connect and unify.

And again, this isn't a judgment. This is what it IS when we REACT from triggered circumstances.

The objective of clarifying what it means to REACT is to hopefully get us to see there is ANOTHER WAY of communicating with opposing views.

That OTHER WAY is called Responding.

RESPONDING doesn't mean we still don't get triggered emotionally. The difference is we don't let emotional pain rule our approach to the dialogue.

We feel the shock of defense just like everyone else, and at the same time, we take a moment to PAUSE and REFLECT FIRST. If we need to breathe, ignore, distract, and analyze what they meant and what we meant, we give ourselves that space.

The PAUSE and REFLECT moment is crucial to getting to OUR desired outcome.

With reaction, the only outcome is more battling and fighting. And with responding, there's a chance to serve up LOVE.

To RESPOND means we see they are right, and so are we. We don't need to prove them wrong so that we can be "the winner."

The truth is their perspective IS right. Even if we disagree.

And that's the point of this post.

We recognize and honor what's true for them even when it differs from our reality.

This takes a lot of practice, my friend! A LOT!

And this is the work when we talk about being human with other humans.

You and I are the types of people who are willing to do the internal work. We look at the situation at hand and say, "Ok. What's my part in this mess? Am I going to contribute more to it, or am I going to do my best to clean it up?"

But don't be fooled into thinking "explaining" to them what we meant is cleaning it up. We must understand we're talking with someone who is emotionally charged, which means they cannot listen to what you mean.

Re-Member they are only able to see ONE side of the equation: THEIRS.

This is important to be aware of because it allows us to let go of NEEDING to change their minds. Because that's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

So again, our work is to be the "bigger" person and show up as LOVE, KINDNESS, GRACE, UNDERSTANDING, and COMPASSION.

We no longer add to the battle. We add to peace. We add to harmony. We add to the connection.

That's our work.

With lots of LOVE,
Teresa

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